These viciously territorial, proto-simians are allegedly responsible for the deaths of numerous lumberjacks, whom they are said to kill by hurling dead chunks of lumber at their skulls.

The Agropelter is a relatively small HAIRY-HOMINID which — much like its more famous cousin BIGFOOT — is said to reside in the lush arboreal forests of the Pacific Northwest and Canada, although there have been reports hailing from other states such as Minnesota.

Eyewitnesses claim that the Agropelter is approximately 3-feet in height with a slender simian body and long spindly limbs. Often seen in trees, these creatures are said to be omnivorous and ostensibly nocturnal, with a bizarre penchant for tormenting humans, particularly lumberjacks — who, of course, are more prone to spend their time in deeply forested regions — by throwing dead tree limbs at their heads.

Whether or not this is intended to cause physical injury or merely grab the attention of these unsuspecting humans is not known, but there are unsubstantiated reports of ostensibly accidental Agropelter related deaths. It has even been suggested that these creatures initiate these attacks to render their unwary prey unconscious; whereupon they kill their victims and stuff the corpse in a hallow tree in order to eat it later, although these rumors seem to be unsubstantiated.

While most investigators feel these tales are exclusively the product of the rich tradition of folklore cultivated by lumberjacks over the years, there are some who suggested that these violent beasts may be an even more aggressive species of the midwestern DEVIL MONKEY or even a juvenile SASQUATCH prone to playful hi-jinks that simply get out of hand.

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