“ORIENTAL YETI” FOUND IN CHINA!

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The Times Online and the Guardian have reported that a bizarre creature, which has been dubbed the “oriental yeti,” has been trapped in the ancient woodlands of isolated central China.

Scientists have been befuddled ever since hunters in a remote region of Sichuan province captured a hairless beast in the forest. The hunters set out to claim their prize after locals reported what they thought was a bear roaming around. One of the hunter’s responsible for the find, Lu Chin, described the strange creature:

“It looks a bit like a bear but it doesn’t have any fur and it has a tail like a kangaroo. It also does not sound like a bear — it has a voice like a cat and it is calling all the time — perhaps it is looking for the rest of its kind or maybe it’s the last one…”

Confused local animal experts have shipped the mystery beast to Beijing, where Chinese scientists are hoping that DNA tests will prove that this odd animal is the zoologists’ equivalent of the Holy Grail — a mammal new to science.