NORTH CAROLINA BIGFOOT HUNTER!

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The Charlotte Observer has published a report on Mike Greene, a nationally recognized Bigfoot investigator, who has been searching and attempting to photograph large ape-like beasts in the mountains of North Carolina for the past 20 years.

Greene claims to have seen the elusive HAIRY-HOMINID, which he refers to as SASQUATCH, a handful of times in the two decades he’s been on the hunt, taking him hundreds of miles across America, Canada and in North Carolina’s Uwharrie National Forest:

“It’s the proverbial needle in the haystack. It really is. My theory is, do it enough and eventually our paths are going to cross and that’s finally what happened… right over my head I heard two deep, I call them ‘Darth Vader breaths.’ That got my attention in a hurry.”

Greene, who over the years estimates that he’s spent $75,000 on high-tech equipment like night vision goggles, cameras and even infrared illuminators, claims he even caught the enigmatic creature on video once:

“There it was, eight or nine feet tall, just like in the movies, walking sideways to me, boom, boom, boom.”

Greene, a 68-year-old retired state fraud investigator with a master’s degree in behavioral psychology, is now widely recognized in Bigfoot circles and often helps investigate sightings. He says he knows some people think he’s crazy and admits that chasing Bigfoot is a little off the beaten path.

“Most people don’t take it particularly seriously, and I don’t blame them… it is the most ludicrous hobby I can possibly think of… I’m not the village idiot here and I’m an extremely skeptical person by nature, and as I said, until I actually saw one myself — no matter what all these other people told me — I didn’t believe it for sure, but it’s true and it’s hard to believe, but it’s true.”