BIZARRE BLOB FOUND IN VIRGINIA LAKE!

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The Register and ABC News have reported that baffled eyewitnesses have discovered a large, bizarre, blob-like life form floating in an artificial lake in Virginia.

Reportedly this GLOBSTER
-like being was discovered by office worker Tracy Collier, who was out walking her employer’s dog near the manmade lake in City Center at Oyster Point — a development in Newport News, Virginia. Collier’s colleague Charles Schmuck, had this to say:

“The lake is behind our office. Tracy was walking by the lake, saw the object, and asked everyone else to come out and take a look.”

As there appeared no way in which the slow-moving, four-foot “mystery blob” could have got into the lake naturally, one of the thing’s discoverers, Dale Leonart, came up with the theory that it must have come from OUT OF THIS WORLD. The entity was henceforth dubbed the “alien pod.”

The puzzled office workers decided to call in expert help from the local Virginia Institute of Marine Sciences (VIMS). They sent an email with photos attached, which read in part:

“The object is about 4 feet in diameter. It has moved about 6 feet down the shoreline in the last 24 hours. It ‘jiggles’ when the waves in the lake hit it… when we prod it, it seems to be spongy feeling… The texture appears to be that of a rock with algae spots on it — it is brown and yellow, with a pattern of some type.”

The VIMS experts negated the alien landing theory and, after a heated internal debate, came to the conclusion that  the blobaceous lakeside intruder was most likely a very large colony of Pectinatella magnifica — aka the “magnificent bryozoan.”

The VIMS claimed that they are always glad to receive reports of UFOs (“unidentified fishy objects”) on their patch of Chesapeake Bay and surrounding waters. VIMS professor, Carl Hershner confirmed that the blobby hive-jelly creature eats algae and thus is:

“Actually a good thing to have around, despite its looks. It’s not a sign of bad water quality, and it doesn’t hurt fish. It can clog pipes, though, and it will be smelly if it’s removed from the water.”