BUCKSHAW BEAST TERRORIZES VILLAGERS!

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In a tale culled from a classic Universal horror film, the Daily Mail has reported that Northwest England’s Buckshaw Village has come under siege by an as yet UNCLASSIFIED, predatory, shaggy, hulking creature that is said to be a cross between a “ferocious wolf, a hyena, a wild boar and some kind of big cat.”

The mystery beast has been blamed for mauling numerous animals — including three deer — which were savaged near the village.

One gallant villager has managed to snap the first photo of what locals have dubbed the “Buckshaw Beast,” sparking an intense online debate as to the identity of this carnivorous fiend, which has been stalking the village for months. Local resident, Shelley Levene, is one of many who have bore witness to this beast on its late night garbage raids:

“I’ve seen it too. It’s not a dog. I have two Alsatians, both ex-police dogs. I saw it going through my bins… I couldn’t understand why they weren’t barking, so I went down to investigate and they were shaking and cowering in their kennel. Just the scent of this thing must have been enough to spook them… I no longer walk the streets of Buckshaw alone at night anymore and would advise all other residents to start to be vigilant.”

Whether there really is a savage unidentified beast marauding through the village or if it is a case of mistaken identity or even an elaborate hoax remains to be seen.

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